dear relevant,

how come no one smiles in your magazine?

i'm a christian and i smile all the time, am i doing it wrong?

survey says

2 out of 2 Kos agree. There are a lot of pretty white people in Ohio.

ohio!!!

nothing to see here

Finally!

Finally, I heard back from Columbia, the school I got waitlisted at. Unfortunately it was a no, which by now we expected. Stupid Columbia, I would have rather been rejected outright than this. Keeping us waiting and hopefully for two months for nothing.

quizzicalifragiliciousexpialidocious

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 79% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 61% Reformed Evangelical 61% Classical Liberal 54% Charismatic/Pentecostal 50% Fundamentalist 50% Neo orthodox 43% Modern Liberal 43% Roman Catholic 25% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

face-biting fun

sometimes I wonder if I am a sociopath. I get about halfway through these little checklists before I stop. Sometimes I stop because I'm scaring myself, most of the time I stop because my shallow emotions and need for stimulation pushes me to play video games instead. I've been meaning to finish at least one, but my lack of remorse, guilt or shame gives me a nice way to avoid anything that might impinge on my grandiose sense of self. Beyond that, questionnaires are useless to me since I am a pathological liar. Go Me!

Let the money roll in.

Here's my idea. I've been kicking it around for a while in my head...

As I sit in traffic every morning and every night, I fantasize about different ways to avoid traffic. I've thought about cars with extend-o legs like Inspector Gadget that would simply roll above the other cars. I've explored most of Bellevue's side streets looking for short cuts and secret onramps. I've rolled down the window and shouted in glee at carpool cheaters being pulled over. I've wondered how I could get a quake1 grappling hook. But I know a way end Seattle traffic and make millions! Bwahahahaha!!!!

*drumroll*
Teleportation, the transporation of the future!
*stunned silence*

I'm envisioning that in order to teleport, there would need to be a projection and a reception unit. I don't believe that it would be safe to teleport into random spaces like they do in Star Trek. The risk of lawsuits from people being teleported in front of buses or 100 feet above the ground is too high. Also, there is the possibility that people using the service with criminal intentions such as teleporting into a bank vault or a ladies dressing room. Having safe and controlled sending and receiving station would mitigate these risks entirely.

With that in mind, this new venture would require many locations, enough locations so that the service would not be limited like bus lines or light rail services. There would be enough locations that this service would replace cars as a mode of transportation. A web of teleportation units that would be convienent and accessible to most of the nation and eventually ... THE WORLD! I propose a joint venture with an existing corporation that already has just such a web in place...
*wait for it*
*wait for it*
Imagine... teleportation units at each and every Starbucks.

If it's raining, just teleport across the street!
Want to visit Aunt Margeret in Walla Walla, don't waste time on gas, teleport to the strip mall half a mile away from her house.
Late for a meeting? Don't worry, just teleport to the Starbucks in the lobby of your building.
Baristas would double as travel agents. Grab a latte in New York and finish it in Los Angeles while it's still steaming hot.

Starbucks alredy has the floor space. If they got rid of the coffee mugs and Starbucks music kiosks that no one uses and replaced them with telephone booth sized teleportation units, imagine the possibilities.

Teleportation rates would be based on the travellers molecular volume as well as milage they plan to travel with a base rate for each use.

Show me the money starbucks... show me the money.

pwahahaha

I just smacked a fly so hard with the lid of a rubbermaid container that it stuck to the wall. Part of it at least. I'm not sure where the other half is.